me and this book found each other last weekend at a Black book fair. There was a table of free books and of course I couldnt pass it up. I believe we were supposed to find each other that day.
This book is special. Its teaching me a lot about what i need to do for myself to create the kind of wholesome living space I want. Part of that means doing away with the toxic emotional layers of my youth, claiming and actively creating the treatment (self love) i need for and from myself. This also means advocating for myself when Im not getting that treatment from others and cutting those people off when theyre not willing to give me what i deserve and are willing to grow with me.
Yesterday I made a beautiful yet painful decision to cut someone off and although my heart is a little tender, im proud of myself for claiming what i deserve.
This book makes me feel great because in reading it ive realized i am right on track with my life. We have a lot of emotional life lessons to go through and ive hit so many of them in my 23 years. I didnt understand that in secluding myself after coming to college i was placing myself in a bubble of healing. I was so depressed and in that depression i was sifting through my life and problems and looking for solutions. Looking for ways to change myself so i could make better and healthier choices.
And thats part of how ive gotten where i am today. Im looking for change and change is finding me.
I really believe now that all relationships and hardships are growing experiences. they really show you who you are, who you should be, what you want and what you deserve. I just realized yesterday that even my roommate, who ive been bumping heads with all year has been an asset to me. I do not like confrontation. I do not like struggle. Yet I have done it with her all year. Every time i had a problem, i stepped up and spoke my mind. I now know that I have it in me to speak against anything making me feel uncomfortable. I know how to speak up for my happiness.
This is the kind of book you buy someone as a gift. I wish i could give this book to everyone. I’m so proud of where i am in my emotional life. I now know that I am perfectly fine and Im going in the right direction for myself